Here Comes The Pog Master

Aah, Pogs. Surely y’all remember those, right? You know, “the tiddly-winks of the ’90s”?

Pogs(TM)–also known by their generic name of “milk caps”¹https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milk_caps_(game)–were at the peak of their popularity in the fall of 1994, precisely coinciding with my move from the desolate plains of the Midwest²Turns out, I don’t think Kansas and Missouri actually qualify as “the Midwest”. At least not the parts I lived in. to Southern California at the beginning of my 8th grade year.

This was also about the time that Jamaican dancehall artist Ini Kamoze’s hit single, Here Comes The Hot Stepper, dominated the radio station they played on my school bus. Not that that has anything to do with this post’s title or anything…

Anyways, having just spent my summer in B.F. Egypt, aka S.W. Kansas, I was completely oblivious to the latest rage amongst all the youths by the time I hit the schoolyard at the esteemed Ocean View Junior High. As you can imagine though, it didn’t take long before I wanted in on some of that sweet, sweet slammer action that all my friends were getting.

Alas, woe was me! For there was a fly in the ointment: I didn’t exactly have any free-flowing cash to spend on a starter set which, in theory, would consist of 30 or so pogs, a slammer, and a fancy green pog-carrying container.

But I eventually got there. It took me somewhere around a month or two to scrape together the $20 or so to finally be able to buy into the prevailing hoopla of those simpler times.

And boy, was I ever so pumped to finally be “in the game” so to speak. Let me tell you: that $20 was hands down the best investment I’ve ever made.

…

J.K. Kidding–pogs went out of style exactly 2 weeks after I bought mine.

I actually feel kinda bad for putting one of my friends in the awkward position of breaking the news to me.

I imaged he felt much like Kramer did in the hit ’90s NBC sitcom, Seinfeld, when he had to tell the titular character, Jerry, that pretending his girlfriend’s stomach had a booming, jovial voice was no longer en vogue:

The point of the story is that “being trendy” is not exactly my strong suit. I’m more of the anti-hipster type. You know, doing stuff after it’s cool. Leave it up to me to jump on the bandwagon right before the wheels fall off and it goes over the edge of a cliff…

Content created on: 9 July 2020 (Thursday)

Edited on: 11 July 2020 (Saturday)–added a better punchline.

Share the joy of the journey with others! Please follow and like us: