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Welcome to The Point of the Story, where shame has no name!

In embarking on this endeavor, one of the key enabling moments for me was when I was assessing my innate talents and abilities. Perhaps one defining trait with which I have had a love-hate relationship my whole life is being too ----- honest. Like, put-George-Washington-and/or-Abraham-Lincoln-to-shame honest.

I say “and/or” because, frankly, I don’t care to pause 5 seconds to search-engine it and get that trivial factoid cleared up. First, whatever you’ve heard about one and/or both of those dead presidents and their honesty is most likely fabricated mythology. The sooner you realize this the better off you’ll be. And lastly, why invest 5 seconds when instead I can seize the opportunity to ramble on for 20 extremely unnecessary seconds? You know, “Short Story Long” and what-not.

But I digress. Which, by the way, is essentially an assumed around here. Digression is par for the course. Expect nothing less.

What I’m really trying to address today is the need for some serious groundwork for what I fancy is about to go down here in these parts of the interwebs. Today’s topic is: piracy. Well, at least I fervently wish it were. Keep an eye on the Forthcoming section, as I have a few thoughts on the matter (unfortunately you might have a bit of a wait). For reals, though, today we’re going to get to the actual topic, privacy.

As I was saying, I can be too ----- honest. My “Aha!” moment was realizing that I could move this fatal flaw from the “bugs” column over into the one labeled “features”. I mean, when it comes to honesty, I have some SERIOUS natural talent. While this is the first post ever specifically written for ye olde T-Pots, I’m sure that by the time you’re reading this, you will have already been familiar with some of the more general content. Ergo, you probably know by now that I’ve essentially commoditized just about any embarrassing thought or deed I have had or experienced thus far in life.

The point of the story is: when it comes to MY privacy, I have no policy. It’s how I expect to make money around here.

Figure 1. A shitty picture of me writing my first blog post at the public library.

But, giving up all self-respect on my part can sometimes go awry. In pre-imagining all the juicy tales I hope to share here, it occurred to me that those of you who have been [un?]fortunate enough to encounter me in this lifetime are bound to end up in my stories. My hope is that the majority of the time you will be proud to know that you’ve been able to persist in my heart and my memories, so much so that I’ve been compelled to share the experience of knowing you with the whole world.

The point of this privacy policy is to cover when that’s not the case. Sometimes I may implicitly assume that whatever collateral embarrassment that you may incur by making an appearance in one of my episodes is at a comfortable (or at least tolerable) level. You know, a fond look-back-and-laugh-at-myself memory.

Alas, I’m well aware that I can grossly misjudge such things. Also, I know that I can lose myself to my #InnerDickhead, or sometimes just get a lazy and be a #CasualAsshat. The point being that there will inevitably be multiple occasions when someone I know and love may not want to be portrayed to the whole world in a particular way. Or they may just really hate the way they look in a picture accompanying a post. Happens to me all the time. And of course, my favorite: they’re part of the Witness Protection Program or perhaps a covert CIA operative and I’m unwittingly putting their life in danger.

IF ANY OF THESE SCENARIOS EVER APPLY TO YOU, please email me with your concerns ASAP at bj@thepointofthestory.com with PRIVACY in the subject line. I am happy to be as accommodating as you need me to be, in a most timely manner.

Changing names to protect the innocent? Consider it done, Assy McSlappikins! Blurring out faces in photos? Nah, but I might Photoshop in the face of your favorite celebrity of the opposite sex over yours if you ask nicely. Taking down a post altogether? That option would be on the table if the situation called for it. Moving a post to the NSFM section and getting a cut of the royalties? Hey, if there’s one life lesson I’ve been able to demonstrate thus far, its that everybody has a price. So no judgment from me if it takes a few coin to make it worth the hit to your reputation. I can really appreciate someone owning their shit–and then learning how to market it for profit.

It is important to note that there is a third pillar to this policy. I reserve the right to embarrass your ass if you deserve it and/or any harm to your precious ego is vastly outweighed by the greater good to be had by widely disseminating a cautionary tale concerning your stupidity or general display of shittiness as a human being. Seriously though, it can’t hurt to at least email me about how pissed you are. Maybe I’ll have a change of heart.

Lastly, these terms are subject to experiencing their own personal growth as human beings, as they inevitably learn their lessons about how their big mouth and lack of common sense can ruin relationships and do all sorts of other interpersonal damage.1It’s an analogy.2,2It’s not. Please, if you know the correct term, “share it in the comments below”.

Now pardon me while I go pump some ----- iron. #HumbleBrag

A hand rests on the keyboard of an open MacBook. On the screen many personal bits of information can be made out if one were dedicated enough. This includes a text version of this blog post and what apparently was last year's shopping list for a holiday meal.
Figure 2. By taking a picture of the screen of the computer I share with my wife, I inadvertently demonstrate my inherent ability to be unaware of this whole “privacy” concept. (Anybody fancy “a real big ham”? Now you know my family does, whether they like it or not.)

Content created on 28 June 2019 (Friday)

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