Latest Posts
5 Min Read
It was the greatest prank--hah! I summed it up in less than 2 sentences!
But I bragged about it, and now? Oh the never-ending consequences...
5 Min Read
One might argue that all the best pranks indubitably involve, well, poo.
But it's not nearly as funny when that sh*t is pulled on you...
4 Min Read
Have you ever caught yourself daydreaming about your clean-cut mom or dad suddenly cussing like a sailor?
Then today's your lucky day, sir...
3 Min Read
Thinking of helping ol' Dim-Witted Daryl fudge on his geography test? Don't be such a dumbass!
Don't forget: he's also really bad at math...
6 Min Read
You swear you weren't meaning to get a leg up on the competition
But now you gotta fix the situation without drawing too much attention...
6 Min Read
Just cuz somebody is a real smarty-pants doesn't mean they don't make dumb decisions on occasion.
And, no, I'm not returning my medal, man...
6 Min Read
Not all those who wander are lost and then there are those who, deep down, wonder why we wander aimlessly.
Me? I blame the deep blue sea...
6 Min Read
There's this special type of list that our great state makes--but it's on you to check it twice
Not knowing anyone naughty? That'd be nice...
5 Min Read
Who can make a boy's wildest dream come true? The Candy Man can!
And who can trash that dream? The Anti-Candy Ma'am can! Or so she thinks...
4 Min Read
That sweettooth of yours already got you in trouble once, kid.
But just you wait until Dad discovers the second half of the damage you did...
Featured Posts
6 Min Read
Sometimes, the drunken truth can be the most sobering thing of all...
4 Min Read
Are you sick and tired of prom themes that over-promise and under-deliver?
Well, have I got just the theme for you...
5 Min Read
On that day, there was terror in the air.
And every single passenger on that plane knew that it was coming from back there...
7 Min Read
Here’s a fun fact: not all Valentine’s Day stories are hot steamy messes of eroticism and romantic escapades. Now that I think about it…do any of them ever really turn out that way? Well, reality check aside, you can bet your sweet heart-shaped ass that I’ve got a Valentine’s Day tale for you. Even better, […]
6 Min Read
When she said "Farmboy, fetch me the finest seats in the house," you know what he said?
"As you wish..."
4 Min Read
"...what does one do when the Confederate-flag-on-a-hockey-stick games begin?"
3 Min Read
"Uh...did you say 'semen'?"
6 Min Read
When an unknown pervert starts lurking about, you know it's time to whip it out.
Uh, whip out your cell phone, just to be clear...
4 Min Read
Oh man, Pony Boy just rolled into town.
You best believe that some horse sh*t is about to go down...
5 Min Read
Did you know…that there’s such a thing called Childhood Amnesia? Most people can’t recall memories earlier than four years old, while the commonly accepted limit is around two and half years old.1https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Childhood_amnesia#False_memories Yeah, in fact, it happens to pretty much everybody. I had no clue such a phenomenon existed until I was 30 or so, […]
Random Posts
3 Min Read
"...or else the Source Of Life would be overrun by bare beavers!"
6 Min Read
No, not that kind of degeneracy. I’m talking about a much more refined and pretension degeneracy. Now, in quantum physics–and just bear with me for a few seconds–there’s this whole thing about being able to say what quantum state a group of particles1Or, more formally: a system. are in based on the result of some […]
4 Min Read
When I was 11 or 12 years old, I remember having a conversation with my dad, Bob J., about something that had happened recently on our farm. I don’t remember exactly what it was–it wasn’t anything of real consequence–but I remember being slightly surprised that this was the first I was hearing of this event. […]
4 Min Read
Well, it was either "ignoble death" or "registered sex offender for life."
I quickly came to terms that I was probably going to die right there in the water...
4 Min Read
Well, this is a crap deal. You get the loot while I get looted...
4 Min Read
As any pirate could tell you: "Loneliness is like a steering wheel in my pants:"
"Arggh! It drives me nuts..."
5 Min Read
I know, I know, spelling can be so demanding.
But I can't stress this enough: with some words, you really gotta stick the landing...
4 Min Read
When religious ministry and wordplay collide, ya better butter up, BuckleCup.
Slipe 'n slide and glide, it's gonna be one heaven of a ride...
3 Min Read
Secrets lurk in the dark, waiting to ambush you.
And they're coming for your precious little family, too...
< 1 Min Read
The Year: 1999, Summer Time. Location: Our Family Farm.
Excitement Level? "Never A Dull Moment"...
The latest word on the street