Latest Posts
9 Min Read
They said it would be a cinch to upload your essence to the cloud.
Instead you're now cussing out the stupid machines--but shh! Not aloud...
10 Min Read
Let's be honest, man: your impromptu roadtrip went exactly as unplanned.
So don't act so surprised that it all ended up in the sh*t can...
5 Min Read
For all those times when someone has looked at you and thought, "What a frickin' idiot!"
Well, well, well, now the shoe's on the other foot...
5 Min Read
Marriage can be hard, but sometimes it's a lot harder than it has to be.
'Specially when one of ya has something that rhyme's with 'ABCD'...
10 Min Read
Me: "What'll it take to get YOU to take this car off my hands?!"
Carlos: "A boat, a plane, PoA, a fake addie, a thousand clams." Me: "Damn..."
6 Min Read
Prestigious? Accomplished? Beloved? I'm not gonna lie: you've got the wrong guy.
Wait, what's that? There's money in it? K, maybe I'll lie...
2 Min Read
It's the end of the year, and of course we gots to take a look back.
You better buckle up , Bud, 'cuz you are in for a ton of fun, Jack...
8 Min Read
This is a warning to any kiddie-stalkers that look oddly like my friend, my dude:
You keep following those girls, and I swear I'll end you...
9 Min Read
They have origin stories! They have alter-egos! But if I got an origin story for my alter-ego?
That just might make me a super super-hero...
4 Min Read
They tried to tell you, 'don't fall asleep', and it seemed ominous at the time.
You didn't listen, but things somehow still turned out fine...
Featured Posts
5 Min Read
Once, twice--even thrice--mom's message has been read.
You rub your eyes, scratch your head--you can't believe what she actually just said...
4 Min Read
When religious ministry and wordplay collide, ya better butter up, BuckleCup.
Slipe 'n slide and glide, it's gonna be one heaven of a ride...
4 Min Read
“About time…about —damn time.”That was my reaction when I read the clickbait article today confirming that Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure 3 was REALLY, TRULY HAPPENING. Sure, we have to wait over a year before it actually comes out, but we’ve waited 28 years thus far, so who can complain?I was 8 or 9 when […]
5 Min Read
In the timeless words of Frank Costanza, "I've got a lot of problems with you people, and you're going to hear all about it!"
So, Harvey, if you're listening, this grievance is for you...
4 Min Read
What?!? A special name just for me???
Oh, wait...that kind of 'special'...
6 Min Read
Just cuz somebody is a real smarty-pants doesn't mean they don't make dumb decisions on occasion.
And, no, I'm not returning my medal, man...
10 Min Read
Editor’s note: For the sake of keeping the running time of my weekly Sunday missives as close to 5 minutes as possible, this multi-thought musing has been split up into two parts. While each part has some entertainment and/or philosophical value by itself, they truly need to be read as a whole. For your convenience, […]
6 Min Read
Note: this is the 1st installment of the Kandy Karma saga. If you have already read this, please feel free to skip to Parts 2 & 3. Free candy? Socially-sanctioned dress-up playtime? No age restrictions? On it’s face, Halloween seems like a deal too good to be true. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned […]
5 Min Read
Here’s a fun fact: something you may not know about me is that I’m a Caucasian male. Not to minimize the troubles I’ve had in this world–I’ve had my share of true sorrow, heartache, and hardship–but sometimes I have to take a step back and acknowledge how being a white dude has affected my life […]
< 1 Min Read
No, you didn't come here to read long-winded novels.
But that never stopped me from writing a few anyways...
Random Posts
6 Min Read
Look, don't judge me for honoring a homeless guy's request.
Oh, but you'll never guess which of his weird-ass requests I'm talking about...
4 Min Read
You better sit up, brace yourself, and pour yourself a tall glass of the strongest clear alcohol you can find...
5 Min Read
"I hope there is a special extra-toasty, extra-pointy anus-bound-pitchfork place in hell for them."
8 Min Read
What do you say to the unapproving insurance rep who doesn't want to pay for your sea-side condo because it's too fancy?
"Beach, please..."
3 Min Read
You might be tempted to think that today’s topic would be about holding public servants and/or private corporations to account, but alas, it ain’t that woke. It is however, about trust. As in, we implicitly tend to trust the world at large to have its proverbial shit together. So when tiny bits of incongruency flash […]
6 Min Read
The field, the field, the field is on fire. We don't need no water, let the mother fucker burn.
Burn mother fucker, burn...
4 Min Read
Nothing really matters, 'tis all but a dream!
So ahead we shall go--full-stream!
2 Min Read
Back in January–a much simpler time, indeed–I was hanging out with one of my friends in the neighborhood while our kids played together. He asked me what I wanted to talk about, and I told him anything but politics–I wanted to relax and that was the last thing that would help me do that. Somehow, […]
8 Min Read
Hyperbolically speaking, my ranting and raving about Eden Cove 9 will never end.
Or will it...?
10 Min Read
Editor’s note: For the sake of keeping the running time of my weekly Sunday missives as close to 5 minutes as possible, this multi-thought musing has been split up into two parts. While each part has some entertainment and/or philosophical value by itself, they truly need to be read as a whole. For your convenience, […]
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