Latest Posts
4 Min Read
He's so wet, so weak, so powerless--he's a bachelor in distress.
And if his damsel won't save him, he'll just die in this shower, I guess...
5 Min Read
'Tis a tragedy! 'Tis a mystery! My cheese has gone missing in the middle of the night!
Show yourself, fiend--dare you step into the light...
13 Min Read
Six years and 340 posts in, and still no book deals-ies?
Sweet White Jesus, this is getting old pretty quick for reals-ies...
6 Min Read
This is the story of two brothers, one a hero, one forgotten to time.
A tale telling that it really matters how you get to that finish line...
6 Min Read
Ya know how they say 'the squeaky wheel gets the grease'?
Um, let's just say ya funk with Dunkin, won't be no drinking yo' coffee in peace...
6 Min Read
Excuse me, ma'am--EXCUSE ME--Yoo-hoo! My eyes are up here.
Say, it's not polite to let yo' gaze linger so long anywhere near, uh, um, er...
6 Min Read
I swear, you can't leave your kid home alone for 20 minutes before things go to sh*t. So tell me, Pro Parent, how you plan to deal with it...
5 Min Read
I ain't green like Kermit, and I ain't orange like Ernie nor yellow like his rubber ducky.
Why, ain't no reason why I'm so darn lucky...
6 Min Read
You can't always trust yo' multi-cultural money-making schemes to go as planned.
Fear not tho! Your wife's street cred can lend you a hand...
6 Min Read
So you think you've gotten away with pulling off the ultimate dad joke?
But it turns out that is too soon that you have spoke...
Featured Posts
4 Min Read
"I can't believe you're asking me to be your Best Man!
I promise you wont' regret it..."
4 Min Read
Young man, pay no heed to the siren's call of 90s technology!
It's not worth the cost for some sweet eye candy (and I mean that literally...)
< 1 Min Read
No, you didn't come here to read long-winded novels.
But that never stopped me from writing a few anyways...
6 Min Read
You swear you weren't meaning to get a leg up on the competition
But now you gotta fix the situation without drawing too much attention...
7 Min Read
Yeah, sure, David Attenborough nature documentaries can be fascinating and informative. But as a source of relationship advice? Not so much...
5 Min Read
On that day, there was terror in the air.
And every single passenger on that plane knew that it was coming from back there...
4 Min Read
That sweettooth of yours already got you in trouble once, kid.
But just you wait until Dad discovers the second half of the damage you did...
6 Min Read
Note: this is the 1st installment of the Kandy Karma saga. If you have already read this, please feel free to skip to Parts 2 & 3. Free candy? Socially-sanctioned dress-up playtime? No age restrictions? On it’s face, Halloween seems like a deal too good to be true. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned […]
6 Min Read
When she said "Farmboy, fetch me the finest seats in the house," you know what he said?
"As you wish..."
7 Min Read
You ever wonder why you fought with your dad so much when you were a teen?
Oh, if only we could ever get to the root of it...
Random Posts
< 1 Min Read
It's that most wonderful time of the year:
Time for a heaping serving of our creme de la creme...
6 Min Read
Help! I've fallen down a rabbit hole at 3.711 m/s² and I can't get out!
5 Min Read
I love dreams. For most of my life I’ve been able to remember at least some portion of my dreams on any given night. I consider myself fortunate in that regard, and I shower unrequested pity on those out there that never can remember their mid-night shenanigans and escapades. Ah, dreams. I find them intriguing […]
6 Min Read
Driver's Ed classes these days aren't teaching our kids one of the most valuable skills:
How to be a little ass-backwards every now and then...
6 Min Read
That moment when: you find yourself with your shirt over your head.
Be warned, though: it's probably best not to curse the dead...
5 Min Read
One might argue that all the best pranks indubitably involve, well, poo.
But it's not nearly as funny when that sh*t is pulled on you...
3 Min Read
"No! Only I get to stuff the ballot box!" he hissed at me as he grabbed my wrists and wrestled the stack of raffle entries from my hand...
9 Min Read
Editor’s note: This is the companion post to But I Still Love Technology-The Evens/Number Five, and, with their powers combined, form a complete version of The Top 5 Times Technology has Screwed Me Over at the Point of the Story. If you haven’t read The Evens yet, you can do so here. For Number Five, […]
5 Min Read
Marriage can be hard, but sometimes it's a lot harder than it has to be.
'Specially when one of ya has something that rhyme's with 'ABCD'...
4 Min Read
Beware if you find yourself making outrageous claims like "I invented cake pops..."
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