Latest Posts











4 Min Read
He's so wet, so weak, so powerless--he's a bachelor in distress.
And if his damsel won't save him, he'll just die in this shower, I guess...

5 Min Read
'Tis a tragedy! 'Tis a mystery! My cheese has gone missing in the middle of the night!
Show yourself, fiend--dare you step into the light...

13 Min Read
Six years and 340 posts in, and still no book deals-ies?
Sweet White Jesus, this is getting old pretty quick for reals-ies...

6 Min Read
This is the story of two brothers, one a hero, one forgotten to time.
A tale telling that it really matters how you get to that finish line...
6 Min Read
Ya know how they say 'the squeaky wheel gets the grease'?
Um, let's just say ya funk with Dunkin, won't be no drinking yo' coffee in peace...

6 Min Read
Excuse me, ma'am--EXCUSE ME--Yoo-hoo! My eyes are up here.
Say, it's not polite to let yo' gaze linger so long anywhere near, uh, um, er...

6 Min Read
I swear, you can't leave your kid home alone for 20 minutes before things go to sh*t. So tell me, Pro Parent, how you plan to deal with it...

5 Min Read
I ain't green like Kermit, and I ain't orange like Ernie nor yellow like his rubber ducky.
Why, ain't no reason why I'm so darn lucky...

6 Min Read
You can't always trust yo' multi-cultural money-making schemes to go as planned.
Fear not tho! Your wife's street cred can lend you a hand...

6 Min Read
So you think you've gotten away with pulling off the ultimate dad joke?
But it turns out that is too soon that you have spoke...
Featured Posts











4 Min Read
"Oh sh*t..." you say, as you do your best Fred-Savage-from-the-Princess-Bride impression. "Is this a pooping story?"
"This is a pooping story, isn't it..."

7 Min Read
If you love her, you'll give her whatever she needs.
Even if that "whatever" involves 8 gallons of oil...

5 Min Read
I knew I was doing something right when a University big-wig asked to meet one-on-one.
Problem was, I had no idea what good deed I had done...

4 Min Read
When traveling, being right on schedule is supposed to be a good thing.
Bodily functions, however, are a strong exception to that rule...

6 Min Read
What would Jesus do?"
Surely not be giving out rides when it's not his car...

< 1 Min Read
It's that most wonderful time of the year:
Time for a heaping serving of our creme de la creme...

6 Min Read
The problem with not knowing the truth is that your imagination might run wild.
You know, like "Girls Gone Wild" wild ...

8 Min Read
This is a warning to any kiddie-stalkers that look oddly like my friend, my dude:
You keep following those girls, and I swear I'll end you...

7 Min Read
Ahh, Early March: perhaps most widely remembered as a nation-wide period of mourning, year in and year out. Feeling depressed around this time of the year, every year, without fail? Yeah. #MeToo. Most people go throughout life never knowing the reason behind this annual mood swing. If you count yourself amongst that legion, then count […]

4 Min Read
When religious ministry and wordplay collide, ya better butter up, BuckleCup.
Slipe 'n slide and glide, it's gonna be one heaven of a ride...
Random Posts











6 Min Read
I understand if you’ve been guilty of hoarding during the COVID-19 pandemic. You didn’t mean to–it just happened. It was accidental for you, too, right? Or am I just projecting? Ok, just speaking for myself here: I never planned on being a bougie hoarder like everyone else. And in a way, I like to believe […]

7 Min Read
Yeah, sure, David Attenborough nature documentaries can be fascinating and informative. But as a source of relationship advice? Not so much...

5 Min Read
An observant nurse is trained to pick up on details that most folks wouldn't see.
Including some things you would rather stay hidden...

6 Min Read
There's this special type of list that our great state makes--but it's on you to check it twice
Not knowing anyone naughty? That'd be nice...

3 Min Read
When you ask whether I prefer “white meat vs dark meat”, you’re talking about the turkey, right? Right…? Boisterous, intoxicated uncles. Politically-opinionated and genetically-related geriatrics. Dairy-induced gastrointestinal events. If there weren’t enough reasons to dread what we Americans like to call Turkey Day, please, allow me to give you one more that you most definitely […]

3 Min Read
Say, there buddy, do you know that feeling?
That feeling when you're still waiting for your old pal to reply to you on FaceBook Messenger...

4 Min Read
Some stories, well, they're straight-forward.
And then there are some stories you simply can't tell with a straight face...

6 Min Read
Sometimes, the drunken truth can be the most sobering thing of all...

6 Min Read
If you're lucky, a cat or mouse will only scratch you.
If you're unlucky, they might just scar you for life...

4 Min Read
“About time…about —damn time.” That was my reaction when I read the clickbait article today confirming that Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure 3 was REALLY, TRULY HAPPENING. Sure, we have to wait over a year before it actually comes out, but we’ve waited 28 years thus far, so who can complain? I was 8 or […]
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