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4 Min Read
He's so wet, so weak, so powerless--he's a bachelor in distress.
And if his damsel won't save him, he'll just die in this shower, I guess...

5 Min Read
'Tis a tragedy! 'Tis a mystery! My cheese has gone missing in the middle of the night!
Show yourself, fiend--dare you step into the light...

13 Min Read
Six years and 340 posts in, and still no book deals-ies?
Sweet White Jesus, this is getting old pretty quick for reals-ies...

6 Min Read
This is the story of two brothers, one a hero, one forgotten to time.
A tale telling that it really matters how you get to that finish line...
6 Min Read
Ya know how they say 'the squeaky wheel gets the grease'?
Um, let's just say ya funk with Dunkin, won't be no drinking yo' coffee in peace...

6 Min Read
Excuse me, ma'am--EXCUSE ME--Yoo-hoo! My eyes are up here.
Say, it's not polite to let yo' gaze linger so long anywhere near, uh, um, er...

6 Min Read
I swear, you can't leave your kid home alone for 20 minutes before things go to sh*t. So tell me, Pro Parent, how you plan to deal with it...

5 Min Read
I ain't green like Kermit, and I ain't orange like Ernie nor yellow like his rubber ducky.
Why, ain't no reason why I'm so darn lucky...

6 Min Read
You can't always trust yo' multi-cultural money-making schemes to go as planned.
Fear not tho! Your wife's street cred can lend you a hand...

6 Min Read
So you think you've gotten away with pulling off the ultimate dad joke?
But it turns out that is too soon that you have spoke...
Featured Posts










6 Min Read
Just cuz somebody is a real smarty-pants doesn't mean they don't make dumb decisions on occasion.
And, no, I'm not returning my medal, man...

7 Min Read
Ahh, Early March: perhaps most widely remembered as a nation-wide period of mourning, year in and year out. Feeling depressed around this time of the year, every year, without fail? Yeah. #MeToo. Most people go throughout life never knowing the reason behind this annual mood swing. If you count yourself amongst that legion, then count […]

4 Min Read
Young man, pay no heed to the siren's call of 90s technology!
It's not worth the cost for some sweet eye candy (and I mean that literally...)

4 Min Read
Valentine's Day is right around the corner, and it's time to get your funk on, baby! But first, you're gonna have to get that funk the funk off you...
5 Min Read
Even when she gathered both of us in the room and demanded we get to the bottom of The Mystery of Which of My Teen Boys Has Been Looking at Lingerie Catalogs, I managed to stick to my guns and maintain the lie.

5 Min Read
"Rah-rah-rah, hats off to thee! Wait one sec, let me double-check my family tree..."

3 Min Read
Take a look inside the Book of Forbidden Fruit, if you dare.
But, young lad, can you handle what you may find in there?

9 Min Read
They have origin stories! They have alter-egos! But if I got an origin story for my alter-ego?
That just might make me a super super-hero...

3 Min Read
"Uh...did you say 'semen'?"

5 Min Read
Sometimes you get "close, but no banana." But even worse is when you get "close, and all banana"...
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3 Min Read
Back in my good ol’ college days, I spent one summer working as a counselor at a camp for troubled-by-Jesus teens.1See also: Wrestling the Machine It being a camp painfully trying to impress these youths, it included such amenities as a zipline, swimming pool, snack bar, and, critical to this story, a paintball field. Once […]

< 1 Min Read
The Year: 1999, Summer Time. Location: Our Family Farm.
Excitement Level? "Never A Dull Moment"...

6 Min Read
I swear, you can't leave your kid home alone for 20 minutes before things go to sh*t. So tell me, Pro Parent, how you plan to deal with it...

5 Min Read
I knew I was doing something right when a University big-wig asked to meet one-on-one.
Problem was, I had no idea what good deed I had done...

5 Min Read
Sometimes, there are no gifts under the tree. Sometimes, the real gift is the tree itself...

5 Min Read
Did you know...racism comes in many flavors?
Well then, ret me tell you a story--though I might not be doing anyone any favors...

4 Min Read
“About time…about —damn time.” That was my reaction when I read the clickbait article today confirming that Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure 3 was REALLY, TRULY HAPPENING. Sure, we have to wait over a year before it actually comes out, but we’ve waited 28 years thus far, so who can complain? I was 8 or […]

6 Min Read
What's that? You're worried that maybe this ahistoric moment in sports may have scarred me for life?
Just wait until see the other guy...

6 Min Read
If you're aspiring to be an educator, why not take it for a spin first?
You never know what you just might learn...

7 Min Read
Yeah, sure, David Attenborough nature documentaries can be fascinating and informative. But as a source of relationship advice? Not so much...
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