When I got COVID, it took me about 5 days to get over it.
Getting over what happened during those 5 days? Oh, about 6 months and counting…
‘Twas the summer of ’22 when I came down with the 21st-Century Flu. What do I do, oh what do I do? Well, for starters, I had pretty high expectations, as anachronistically inspired by this spot-on SNL sketch:
I run away from problems, that’s what I do (on the advice of my medical professional wife)! It seems that instead of running away from problems, I instead ran into an entire ----- Soap Opera with at least 4 major conflicts to be resolved, a couple of plot twists, and–best of all, and just in time for Spooky Season–3 completely different usages of the term ‘ghost’!
So, yeah, I’m gonna have a story or two to tell. Ladies and gentlemen, get your shot glasses and finest liquors out and get ready to drink every time you hear the G-word, as I present to you: The Long Tale Of COVID…
4 Min Read
No one wants to have an exciting story about getting COVID.
But if you can live to tell about it, it’s TOTALLY worth it…
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Positive COVID test? Check. Apartment all to yourself? Check. A really strong drug prescription? Check!
Let the pharmaceutical phun begin…
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Oh, to be sick and just trying to get by (or maybe just trying to get high).
Oh, the places you will go, oh the drugs you will buy…
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That moment when: you find yourself with your shirt over your head.
Be warned, though: it’s probably best not to curse the dead…
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You’re sick af and just need a place to get some peaceful sleep.
Yeah, that’s the perfect time to be dirt cheap…
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The sick mind can really play tricks on a guy.
Oh, the many places we will go! Oh, the many ways we might die…
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In marriage, it’s often hard to get your message across.
Especially when it has to get across the Other Side…
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How do you know if your condition requires immediate medical attention?
When the only way to describe it is with a Kevin Bacon reference…
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An observant nurse is trained to pick up on details that most folks wouldn’t see.
Including some things you would rather stay hidden…
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As any pirate could tell you: “Loneliness is like a steering wheel in my pants:”
“Arggh! It drives me nuts…”
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The good news? I might have just made a new best friend.
The bad new? Look, amigo, I ain’t got time for no buddy…
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I’m not really a “Wham, bam, thank you, ma’am” kind of guy.
Me? I’m more of a “No Whammy! No Bammy! No thank you, Nurse Cami!” fella…
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What’s a guy to do when immoral influences comes a-knocking at his back door?
Oh, this tricky pickle is just too big to just ignore…
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Some stories, well, they’re straight-forward.
And then there are some stories you simply can’t tell with a straight face…
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When someone has a quasi-traumatic life experience, it’s natural to take time to process it.
But your dude? He doth processeth too much…
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There’s a knock on the door; you call out “Who is it?!?”
You can only hope you don’t hear “Tis your Favorite Nurse, here for a home visit”…
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In the spirit of the season, here’s a little something extra for all you faithful fans out there.
As they say, “Take a look inside”…
Content created on: This sh*t went down in late June 2022.
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