You know what they say: “The early bird gets the worm!”
What they don’t tell you is: “The early tax-filer might just get screwed out of all the easy monies…”
Okay, so today isn’t exactly “Tax Day.” Usually it is though, so I thought I would spit a quick tax-related tip at you, because, hey is there ever a more fun and exciting topic?
So I like to be a good citizen when it comes to filing my taxes, and in fact, I usually have them in to the IRS within the first week that they can be submitted in early February. Sure, we usually get a tidy little refund, so that makes it much easier to get sh*t done in a timely manner.
This year I was a little behind on my game and didn’t get them in until early March. No biggie, though–well within the time frame that still would allow me to go publicly bragging about such an asinine thing.
It just so happened though, that the third economic stimulus package was announced a week or two after getting our ‘fund. This time around, though, those checks came with strings attached: namely, if you and/or your hard-working wife make too much money, then you might end up getting exactly jack-squat.
This information would have been extremely handy to have had before I filed my taxes so ----- early like the exceptionally good member of society that I aspire to be. Turns out, had I been a dead-beat family accountant–or a notorious procrastinator, which I seem to be in just about every other area of my life–then the IRS would have been forced to determine our eligibility based on our 2019 taxes.
*Sigh*
If only.
I can neither confirm or deny our current gross household income, but let’s just say that DAMMMMMMIT! I JUST SCREWED US OUT OF A FAT FIVE-K STIMMY FROM UNCLE SAMMY!
You get the point, right? The year 2020 was a shit-show in general, but financially we did just well enough to miss out on all the free-money fun.
And all because I had to–just had to–go showing off to the IRS how much dough we be rolling in the first chance I got.
Wait–I mean, “I was an exemplary citizen, and thoughtfully filed my taxes early enough to help relieve some of the burden on the poor, poor IRS workers.”
What does my goodwill and excellent altruistic behavior get me? Jack. Squat.
The point of the story is, try to not fall into the sinkhole of cynicism if you can, but dang it, it’s true what they say: “No good deed goes unpunished.”
Call me a bad boy, call me Mr. Dangerous. Call me what you will but I say “screw this!” I’m filing my taxes on the last day possible next year!
Content created on: 15 April 2021 (Thursday)
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