Recently I was chatting with our 7 y.o. daughter “The Elder,” when I found myself lamenting how, while I can usually orally regale1Oh. Jeez. No, no, no, no. That is not a sexual ephemism. I just mean telling a story via the spoken word. You ----- pervert. someone with one of my many pointless stories in under 5 minutes start-to-finish, the same tale will always take a much larger chunk of my time to compose as a blog post.
This is actually a pretty big issue for me, as the time burden of producing written content can often really take the joy out of the whole process. It makes my Gift of Gab feel more like my Unbearable and Inescapable Curse of Gab most of the time.
And, you, Dear Readers, are the ones who end up suffering when you have to wade through my thoughts, only to be ‘rewarded’ with a punchline that was written in a state of exhaustion. Verily, you deserve only the finest puns and turns of phrase, and sadly I don’t always deliver.
Anyways, being a little problem-solver after my own heart, The Elder began brainstorming various ways that could help me churn out my milquetoast blog posts more efficiently.
She rattled off a few suggestions, with her ideas landing all over a spectrum that ran from moderately practical to implausibly fantastical. (She is only 7, after all, so you always gotta be emotionally prepared for at least one solution involving “rainbow-farting unicorns” to be thrown out.)
But then she got on a train of thought about how I could video myself telling my random stories, then go back and transcribe them.
“Wow,” I thought, “now she’s really on to something that might be worth trying out.”
“Not too bad, Kiddo. Not too bad…please, go on.”
“Oh, I know! You can even have some of my stuffed animals interview you…”
“That’s cute: ‘The Teddy Bear Tapes.’ It does have a nice ring to it…”
“…that way you can tell all those stories that I probably shouldn’t hear!”
I had to pause while my mind was being blown.
“Holy shit, that is genius!”
“Just one problem, though, Daddy.”
“Yeah?”
“You probably shouldn’t say ‘shit’ around me either. Save it for the stuffies.”
There. There you go. There’s your punchline. Hope it was worth your 2 minutes!2Ok, Judgy McJudgikins, for the official record, I didn’t actually say ‘shit’…out loud, at least.
Content created on: 12/13 August 2020 (Wed/Thurs)
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