How To Know When You Need To Surf Or Hit The Turf

For those of you who believe “time is a prison”:

My Dude, you gotta look to the Surf Watch for wisdom…

“Never! I’ll never wear this prison-on-a-wrist! I simply refuse to do it.”

“But it’s that weird-ass shade of green that you seem to love so much. Not only will it make you look like you know what you’re doing out there–and lord knows you need every bit of beach-cred you can get–but it will coordinate perfectly with your board shorts and rash guard. Practical–and stylish, too!”

Admittedly, I probably wasn’t in the best emotional state to be shopping for a surf watch, which almost certainly factored into my over-reaction to the Boss Lady’s suggestion that I treat myself to such a purchase.

Being fairly new to Hawai’i, I had yet to learn some very important rules when it came to surfing. And that particular morning, I had learned from a very, very angry surfboard shop proprietor that you never ever go into a surfboard shop, take one of their surfboards, put it on the floor, and give it an in-store “test ride”.

Like, how the hell was I supposed to know? I mean, how else are you going to know if it is of the right proportions for your bespoke surfing style? It would seem that common sense would dictate that you do exactly that. But noooooo, you almost break a board floor-surfing one time, and you dang near get banned from surf shops state-wide…

Speaking of “surf” and “style”, back to the topic at hand (or should I say at wrist–#DadJoke): the alien-green surf watch.

Bonus lifestyle tip–“thou shalt not take surfboards for test rides in store”–aside, there was actually some philosophical nuggets of wisdom awaiting me in that water-sport accessory that I was convinced would only make me miserable.

You see, I’m what you might call a “wild spirit”–in general, I detest rules and other types of constraints on my personal freedom (or at least that’s the self-image I have of myself). For example, if I want to eat Miracle Whip on my bananas, that’s none of the Food Police’s ----- business. And I’m sure many a soul out there can relate. Well, maybe not to the Miracle Whip example, but I know that a disproportionate number of you out there are anti-establishment hippies at heart.

You can then easily imagine that the last thing a freeman like me wanted while surfing was to be enslaved to some turgid¹To quote The Princess Bride, “You keep using that word…I do not think it means what you think it means.” timepiece hanging off his wrist. Who would want a constant, ever-present reminder that their time to enjoy themselves was steadily dwindling away?

Not me, that’s for sure!

“I bristle at your arbitrary chronological construct of ‘time’!” I shouted in my head at The Man.

However, despite my defiance and shaking of my fist at the wind, I ultimately gave into the Boss Lady’s observation that I would never regret buying and wearing an item of such a counter-culture color of green.

I mean it’s kind hard to argue with logic like this:

“Just think, Honey: with this, you can loudly and proudly give the Fashion Police the finger whenever you like. Oh–except when you’re out in public with me…”

It wasn’t too long before I made an utterly shocking, earth-shattering discovery: I was wrong.

Dead wrong.

That watch was no prison–nay, I dare say it was pure freedom. Yes, this was absolutely contrary to my preconceived notions about “personal liberty,” as I elaborated on above.

Instead of constantly wondering if I had overstayed my welcome in the water, and whether I was risking being late for work–yes, I had the luxury of surfing before work on a regular basis #HawaiianHumbleBrag–I had the peace of mind knowing that I was still on personal time, and that my only job in that moment was to enjoy myself. All without feeling the least bit guilty to boot!

On top of that, I got pretty good at estimating how long it would take me to catch a nice wave, ride it, and subsequently paddle back out and be ready to catch the next one. That meant I could pretty reliably tell myself, “Alright, My Dude, we can savor three more sweet, sweet waves until we need to paddle in.”

I wasn’t selling myself short by accidentally calling it a day too early, and thereby robbing myself of joy. Nor was I unintentionally cutting into my work day, and thus what could arguably considered stealing from my boss who faithfully employed me.

It was juuuuuust right. You know, like Goldilocks. Which is kinda appropriate, since, thanks to my luscious lion’s mane, I’m something of a Goldilocks myself.

In the end, it came down to this: knowing exactly when and where I was supposed to be, and fully embracing the moment of being there, then. That is a luxury we often don’t afford ourselves in this day and age…

The point of the story is please don’t get caught up in ideals about “personal freedom” and such, my friend. Trust me, unlimited freedom is way overrated anyways.

It’s that time of year²If you’re reading this expo facto, note that this is my first original post of the New Year. when we often take on new self-imposed constraints in search of a better self, whether it’s a diet, trying to stick to a budget, or a resolution to spend approximately 150 minutes a week showing yourself some self-love surfing under the early-morning Hawaiian sun.

The key is to be thoughtful about how you want to spend your calories, money, or time (or whatever limited resource you may have) ahead of time. Be deliberate about it.

Then, instead of feeling shackled to an arbitrarily-defined set of so-called ‘rules’, you can embrace the situation for what it really is: knowing exactly when and where and what you’re supposed to be doing, and fully embracing the moment of being there, then, doing that.

That, My Dudes, is the Wisdom of the Surf Watch.*

*Note: Blindingly-neon-green-give-the-Fashion-Police-the-finger-but-just-don’t-embarass-your-wife-in-public surf watch optional…

Content created on: 13 January 2022 (Thursday)

Share the joy of the journey with others! Please follow and like us: