A fun fact about me: I’m a physicist by training, with several scientific publications in chemistry journals. Good news, though: those factors are surprisingly irrelevant to today’s life-tip. So no worries, Mate; I won’t be spitting scientific deep cuts at you today.
The gravity I want to talk about here is the gravity of the situation when one makes a regrettable life choice by ordering a shitty beer. Especially when on a date, and the one you were hoping to impress asks to try it. At which point the only thing getting ----- that night is your chances of them trusting your better judgment. Which, I might argue, may be the worst possible outcome of the evening.
Fortunately, I have been on many dates,1Albeit with the same woman. #UberMonogamy and [surprisingly] have successfully ordered many a beer. The secret to my dumb luck is really just one stupefyingly simple rule: gravity–maximize it. The hardest part is just identifying the beers on the menu with the three highest ABVs.2ABV: Alcohol by Volume (aka “gravity”).Yes, there is the real possibility that ABVs won’t be displayed on the beer menu. You may not be completely shit out of luck, though. Try to find a Belgian beer or a stout (if that’s your thang) to increase your odds of success. You probably will be good with any of these, but choosing from those three gives you the illusion of free will and the myth of the self-made [wo]man.3Dammit, the Trainwreck of Thought strikes again…
So, here’s to an uncomfortable level of self-honesty and swindling dates into false respect for your judgement. Cheers!
Content created on: 5 July 2019 (Friday)
Footnotes & References:
short & to the point with minimum words I have to block out. Though the content doesn’t apply to anything in my life.
short & to the point with minimum words I have to block out. Though the content doesn’t apply to anything in my life.
Hello, Mother.
I see that you posted a comment, promptly forgot you posted it, and posted it again too minutes later. That reminds me…when is the next time I need to take you to your Dr’s appointment…
Seriously, though, I love how, you, the woman who has been tipsy twice in her entire life, find this post agreeable on the grounds of minimal potty words.