Our 2-1/2 year old daughter, “The Younger,” recently just graduated from sleeping in a crib in our master bedroom to sleeping in her own [queen-sized] bed in her own room.
An unfortunate side effect of this transition is now she demands I lay down with her until she falls asleep, the whole time complaining and whining about how she “want[s] the mommy to take me to bed.”
This has been steadily escalating over the course of the 2-3 weeks since making the switch in sleeping arrangements, and it has taken a huge toll on my sleep habits. These days, I consider it a victory if I make it out into Adult Land of the Awake by 9:30 pm.
Recently, it was particularly rough, as I had to pee real bad, but she kept on waking up and fussing if I even just thought about sneaking out of bed. I swear she’s telepathic…
Anyways, that gave me time to workshop in my head a comedic and pithy way to relate my trials and tribulations to the Boss Lady once I did indeed make it out.
Finally, close to 10:30, I successfully snuck out of her room–making an immediate pitstop in the bathroom, of course. As I strolled out into the living room, I declared to the Boss Lady, “I feel like the first ray of light in history to ever escape a bla–“1black hole. The punchline is black hole.
But before I could complete my punchline, the greatest wailing and gnashing of teeth came echoing down the hall.
“DADDY!!! WHAAAAA! DADDDDY! I’M CRYING!!!”
Shit. I prematurely celebrated. Ok. See you!
A Father metaphorically holding out the football in celebration at the 5 yard line, only to have a persistent defender knock said ball out of his hands at the 1 yard Line
I think the point of the story is self-evident with this one…
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