Growing up, my mom tended to keep the thermostat in our house set on the lower end of the tolerable spectrum.
One winter, when I was about 4 or 5 years old, I couldn’t take it any more and demanded she at least buy me some warm pajamas.
Despite my melodramatic pleading for her to show the slightest hint of humanity, she wouldn’t budge.
So I resorted to sobbing and crying, hoping to effectively play the pity card. Yet, still she resisted.
I only had one card left to play at this point: faux anger. Now, I’m pretty sure I wasn’t threatening violence. And I’m pretty sure that the Phillips-head1An unnecessary detail. Joke’s on you! screwdriver was already in my hand before the start of this particular conversation.
Regardless of why there was a screwdriver in my chubby little hand, I pulled a Daniel Tiger:
…minus the whole namaste anger-management breathing exercise bit.
I looked at her and proclaimed, “I’m so mad at you, I could bend this screwdriver in half!”
Calling my bluff, Mom retorted, “If you can bend that screwdriver in half, I’ll drive to New York2(from Kansas) tonight and buy you some new pajamas!”
Not one to back down from a ridiculous and improbable challenge, I gripped that screwdriver with both hands, stuck my bare foot in the middle, and straight-up bent that screwdriver in half around my foot.
We both stood there in shock for about a minute before I made some smart-ass comment like “I’ll be waiting in the car…”
As you can imagine, I never got those velveteen pajamas that I had been promised.
But, Mom, if you’re listening (and I know you are), I just want to say, “Where are my ----- pajamas?!?”
J.K. Kidding. I’m a grown-ass man now, and can drive myself to New York to buy some Daniel Tiger pajamas…if they make them in adult sizes, that is.
Nonetheless, the point of the story is: don’t make bets you can’t make good on. And also don’t underestimate the strength of your Kindergartner.
Content created on: 29 January 2020 (Wednesday)
Footnotes & References:
I’m not sure you had to use your foot to help bend the screwdriver. You gripped both ends & turned red in the face for about the 3-4 seconds it took you to bend it in half. And yes I was shocked.
But surely we can compromise & I just buy you a pair of pj’s from Walmart? Xo
I’m 90-95% sure that I used my foot…I don’t think I could bend a screwdriver at this point in my life—and go to the gym twice a week!
As for your compromise…what if you drive to a Walmart halfway between here and New York? Lol.
For whatever reason this has been posted twice. The first one I read had the “f” word blanked out. You missed it on this one & my eyes & my mind cringed when I saw it.
What has posted twice? Your comment or my post showing up in your feed twice? I’m surprised that it would be censored one time then not the next. I really need to figure out how to reprogram the Censorship plugin so that it actually does it job. Your poor eyes and mind!