Speaking of showers and judgy assholes,1See: Lawnmower Man that reminds me…
During my second year of grad school, I lived with three of my fellow physics grad students. They were all [astro]nuclear physicists and my main research tool was Nuclear Magnetic Resonance (NMR), so we decided to lean hard into the whole “nuclear” theme and dubbed our humble abode “the Bomb Shelter”. We thought ourselves modestly clever with that one. Alas, that all has nothing to do with the story; it’s just for reference in the future.
Anyways, at the time, two of us had samurai-length hair, me and Jesus Christ.2Not his real name. But his real initials, though. One fine morning I hop in the shower and find a wad of dark hair on the shower wall. Clearly, it was Jesus’s hair,3We all know that Jesus wasn’t really white. He was Italian. and I was a little indignant about the whole situation. How rude to leave your hair in the shower for your roommates to take care of!
At some point I brought it up in a less than graceful manner, talking about how disgusting it was. I don’t even remember if I was adult enough to bring it up to Jesus–I think I was bitching to one of the other roommates. Either way, he heard me talking about it, and explained that he always does that, so his hair didn’t clog the drain. Then, when he gets out of the shower, he just grabs some toilet paper and easily wipes it off the shower wall and disposes of it properly in the toilet or trash. He offered an unprompted apology for having forget the last step that particular day.
Sometimes, life imitates art. In this case, the art being an M. Night movie, replete with the obligatory twist at the end: he was the one being considerate. I was the asshole.
Oh, and also, that’s a pretty solid strategy for longer hair management in the shower. I still use it to this day–I highly recommend it.
Content created on: 10 July 2019 (Wed)
Footnotes & References:
Still some words that could have been changed. But certainly an improvement from some earlier stories.
Hello, Mother.
I thought we went over this. The deal is that I censor what you have to read on here, but you leave my asses alone. It’s all I got left! We’re like King David and Uriah the Hittite all over again…